The Quackometer

So, the Quackometer has been up and running for 24 hours now and most systems have been restored. A bit more to go though. For the technically inclined, this has involved a move from cuddly cotton wool children's Microsoft servers to grown up, open source, Apache/Unix servers where a missed semi-colon can kill faster than a homeopath dishing out malaria pills.

It's been a bit of a bother, but I have time in the evenings now after becoming a Wiidower. Mrs Canard Noir bought me a Wii for Christmas and I have barely used it. She is next to me hogging it at the moment, trying to get Laura Croft to shoot wolves. You should see her on Wii Boxing. It scares me.

So, I might as well blog.

Backstory: Professor Dr Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi FRCAM(Dublin) did not like some stuff I wrote that highlighted his bizarre behaviour and strange quackery. After a year or so, when the Google search results were displaying my site highly despite his best efforts to write so many third person articles about himself, he gets a professional letter writer, Ms Tanja Suessenbach, to threaten my web hosts, Netcetera, with legal action if they do not pull my site.

One would have thought they would have laughed it off. As was so beautifully put on Gimpy's Blog,

This isn’t the case of a credible individual holding a gun to the head of Netcetera in the form of a grievous and legitimate complaint it is a man in a chicken suit successfully robbing a bank while holding a giant inflatable banana and farting loudly.

But no, they asked me to remove the offending pages and 'seek agreement' with Obi. I did to avoid immediate suspension, but felt that Netcetera had put me in an impossible position of being completely unable to reach any sort of reasonable agreement with Obi. How could I? He had got what he wanted.

All I could do was dig up more info on Obi in an attempt to show Netcetera just how ridiculous he was. It was soon clear that his 'College' he set up in Dublin (Royal College of Alternative Medicine, RCAM) was a complete facade with some strange anomalies in its registration.

I wrote to Netcetera on the 30th of January,

David,

Thanks for getting back to me. I fully understand this is a difficult position for you. Netcetera want to get on with the business of web hosting rather than deal with rubbish like this. However, I feel that an important point is being missed. Obi made his claim of defamation without a shred of evidence to substantiate that. On your request, I asked for that evidence and you still asked me to take down the pages.

I hope that as a service provider you do not feel that it is acceptable for third parties to demand the removal of your customers’ content without having to back up their demand with good reasons. We will not get the evidence required to substantiate Obi’s claims.

You can see the level of Obi’s response here… http://www.professorjosephchikelueobi.com/

We have now waited long enough for either Obi or his ‘legal advisor’ to respond in a meaningful and constructive manner. That has not happened, not will it happen because his case is utterly groundless and he has achieved what he wanted to do - take down those pages. I therefore believe that it is entirely justified to re-instate
those pages and I intend to do so. I hope it will be with your consent.

Regards,

I heard nothing.

Then, last Monday, I got this email,

Thanks for your comments.

We do not wish to be in a position where we could be taken to court, and incur the loss of time and expense that would involve. Consequently Netcetera have decided to suspend the Quackometer website, with reference to our Acceptable Usage Policy, the first part of which is quoted below.

The full policy can be found on our website www.netcetera.im/SiteInfo/AUP/ “Acceptable Usage Policy This policy is subject to change, without alternate notice, so please check regularly for updates. This policy is in addition, and considered part of Netcetera’s Terms and Conditions. Netcetera will be the sole arbiter as to what constitutes a violation of this provision. 1) Web Hosting 1.1) Netcetera reserves the right to suspend or cancel a customer’s access to any or all services provided by Netcetera, where Netcetera decides that the account has been inappropriately used. Netcetera reserves the right to refuse service and /or access to its servers to anyone.”

We will prevent public access to the site as of noon today 18th February 2008. You will be able to access the content to be able to transfer it to another host if you so wish. We will hold the content available to you for 30 days, and then we will remove it from our servers.

Regards

So, that gave me 20 minutes to prepare for the collapse of the Quackometer.

On the face of it, it looks like Netcetera were unhappy about being taken to court over something that was not their argument. I think it is worse than that. If anyone there had slightly looked at the complaint (and remember, Obi and Suessenbach refused to respond to request to make clear their grievance), it would appear obvious that the complaint was groundless. Worse than that, the complaint was a blatant attempt to remove legitimate criticism from the web. Netcetera would have won and reclaimed any costs. They just did not want the bother - far easier to lose a customer than to defend their customers.

Positive Internet offered me free hosting after the Magic Watergate scandal. I had been dragging heals over this because of the large amount of work involved when I could have been harassing quacks. Positive are marvelous; you can read about them here. For me it is enough to say that they are the only Internet hosting provider with an entry on the Pilkipedia. Right now, I am aware that I have lost half my audience as they are now exploring the Pilkipedia. Damn, there goes another 50%.

So, for those of you left, I shall finish the story.

The consequences have been inevitable. Such a story spreads quickly and within hours the blogs start appearing. What is more, it starts hitting the mainstream IT sites such as ZDNet, where Rupert Goodwins starts his article by saying,

If you fancy running a controversial website, you might like to think twice before signing up with Netcetera for hosting purposes. The Duck's crime was to collate newspaper reports concerning one Joseph Chikelue Obi.
...
If you fancy doing some waterfowling of your own, do check whether your hosting contract says, as Netcetera's does, that you can be terminated without recourse and without reason. You might like to take your punt gun elsewhere.

The blogs started coming thick and fast too. No Nonsense! was one of the first of the block and described the lilly livered apology for a Web Hosting company, Netcetera. Twonilblankblank asked, "Would your webhost fuck you over?" JDC325 said, "and for all those web hosts out there, please remember: there’s a difference between defamation and criticism." Hawk/Handsaw said "Netcetera fold like a cheap suit"

The story hits the IT mainstream when a full feature makes one of the main stories of the day at El Reg. The Register reporter, Chris Williams, does some digging and phones both Netetera and Suessenbach. Netcetera do not want to play. Suessenbach tells El Reg that "We cannot speak as litigations are imminent." Scary.

Forums are now buzzing with Bad Science, UK Skeptics and the James Randi JREF covering it.

There are now way too many blogs and web pages covering this for me to mention them all (and I want to have a go on the Wii at some point). You can see a comprehensive list here. But some of my favourites are:

• Apathy Sketchpad - "Spineless Morons"
• GagWatch - "Netcetera promptly wet themselves"
• Thinking Is Dangerous - "Netcetera condemn themselves as pathetic caitiffs"
• PalMD on WhiteCoatUndergound - "What a bunch of bloody wankers!”
• Chemo Brain - "we’ll take your site off the internet if a total schmuck frightens us"
• Orac on Respectful Insolence - "outcry from the medical and skeptical blogosphere"
• MediaWatchWatch - Just check out the fantastic picture!

Other sites, such as The Bronze Blog and Paul Hutchinson’s Blog call for a boycott of Netcetera.

What does this mean? Were Netcetera right? At one level, I can sympathize with them. This is a fight they did not choose and could not gain anything from (although Positive will do well). The really big enemy is English Law that is just muddle, unfair and confused - firstly, with its heavy handed libel laws, and secondly, its inability to accommodate electronic media. A more sensible approach needs to be adopted here so that people with genuine grievances can have them heard and addresses whilst the flippant and mischievous can be harried away without fear.

But we should not let Netcetera off the hook. The fact that another host were prepeared to take me on and at their expense at least shows that it is not clear cut. For me, I had a contract with Netcetera and they broke it without giving good reason and relying on an unfair and unequal clause in their lobsided contract. Its all a bit fucked up.

And so, the last word ought to go to Mr Obi himself. What has he got to say? Well, "alighting from the back seat of an Extended Black Daimler Limousine at the start of a Whirlwind Alternative Medicine Tour", he says,

Alternative Medicine Strongman and Royal College of Alternative Medicine (RCAM) Boss, Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi , has today sent out his very best wishes to the Quackometer Blog Owner Andy Lewis, who is currently transferring his Internet Service Provider (ISP) Ports from Netcetera Ltd to Positive Internet Ltd.

That's sweet.

My fundamentally humble message to all Skeptic Internet Service Providers (out there) today is therefore extremely loud and exceedingly clear : Stop condoning the ruthless harassment of Alternative Medicine Practitioners - or be fully prepared to face the dire financial consequences of your actions !

Obi is truly a spokesperson for the whole alternative medicine movement.

Joseph, perhaps you would like to apply for this job?

Chief Executive Officer and Registrar,
COMPLEMENTARY AND NATURAL HEALTHCARE COUNCIL

£60,000 p.a. pro rata.
The new Complementary and Natural Healthcare
Council (CNHC) has been established to put in place a regulatory body for those complementary therapies which are not statutorily regulated, nor seeking statutory regulation. The main function of the new body will be to enhance public protection and confidence in the use of complementary therapists. The Council now wishes to appoint to the role of CEO/Registrar, as soon as possible.

You would certainly get my full support.

******************************************************************

Update 23rd Feb

From The Wardman Wire and Humaniform I learn that the presitigous Bear-Faced Usmanov Award has been made to Mr Obi for "extreme efforts in closing down websites which are criticising you by threat without evidence". Also, The Double Headed Schilling is awarded to webhosts who roll over before such threats, has naturally been given to "internet hosting (sometimes) company Netcetera."

Check out the graphics depicting these awards to Netcetera.

(Usmanov, for the uninitiated, is a Russian oligarch, and part owner of Arsenal football club, who tried to suppress ex ambassador Craig Murray from writing alegations of Usmanov's 'colourful' past by threatening ISPs with legal action. Naturally, attempts at this sort of suppression, massively amplified the exposure of the allegations. One would have thought people would learn a lesson.)

*******************************************************************************

Dr Aust sums up the mess very well on Respectful Insolence.

I hope he does not mind me reproducing it here...

Yes, the British law on this is a hopeless mess compared to the UK and Canada. The need for some sensible new legislation is clear, but British Govts are historically reluctant to do anything legislative that curtails lawyers' ability to trouser huge fees (such as in defamation lawsuits). Perhaps this is because so many British politicians are lawyers.

In the UK situation, if the plaintiff says to the ISP "this libellous thing about me is posted on your servers, take it down", then an ISP that doesn't take the stuff down becomes directly liable for the libel (Godfrey vs Demon internet). Furthermore, the longer the stuff remains up, the greater the potential libel damages "for accumulated damage to reputation" in a defamation suit - the longer the offending passage is up, the greater the potential harm to reputation, goes the reasoning. The ISPs almost certainly take the view that they are a more "attractive" libel suit target, as they are companies and hence clearly have assets, while the blog poster is likely to have no money to speak of. So the ISP has a large vested interest in caving in. This is why the "legal chill by threat to sue" types in the UK go for the ISP rather than the blogger.
All American bloggers should be duly grateful, methinks, for the judgement in Zeran vs. America Online, which effectively says "ISPs are not publishers".

In the UK, where the law conversely does see the ISP a a publisher, it comes down to whether the ISP is prepared to tolerate any potential liability, or even inconvenience, for the sake of some kind of principle.

When UCL was trying to boot David Colquhoun ff their servers following complaints and spurious libel threats, many of the people writing to the UCL Provost (including me) argued that as a University UCL had an overriding duty to protect free comment, and scientific accuracy, as part of its core purpose. But it is a bit harder to make that argument with a business or corporation, whose overriding obligation is presumably to maximize "shareholder value".

An interesting and unresolved question, with wide Internet implications, is to what extent a judgement under the silly UK law can be enforced in any other jurisdiction. In print libel cases there are suggestions that under some circumstances it can,
hence the phenomenon of "libel tourism" I referred to earlier.

You can read more Dr Aust here.

More updates (27th Feb)

The Skeptics Guide to the Universe
Rebecca Watson - The Skepchick - and Steven Novella, MD - Neurologica - discuss the Quackometer/Obi/Netcetera affair on the weekly Podcast
I hosted u a website, but I eated it
LOLquacks in an easy to understand synopsys of the Obi/Necetera Affair. A Must Read.
Quackometer vs Obi - Abusing Lawsuits to Silence Critics
Steven Novella discussed the implications of net censorship in light of the netcetera/obi affair.

Labels: BPSDB, Netcetera, Professor Joseph Obi, regulation

 

So, another vague and preposterous legal threat and my web hosts have caved like bullied ginger children. Pages have been taken down and then immediately duplicated to over 30 (at last count) web sites all over the world. The web tends to react like that.

This situation will not last. The Society of Homeopaths did not get away with it and nor will more minor bullies. To be told to remove a web page on the threat of 'one million pounds per day' (hooks little finger to mouth) is just plain daft, especially when we are not told why such offense was being taken.

Professor Dr Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi FRCAM(Dublin) has failed to respond to my simple request to document his specific concerns, and nor has his 'legal advisor' Tanja Suessenbach. And worse, neither have my web hosts, Netcetera, responded to my last emails to them. That has left me in a difficult position. Netcetera asked me to remove the pages until I have reached an agreement with Obi. He will undoubtedly now have no reason to speak to me now Netcetera have so easily complied. This leaves me with few options. Firstly, go digging and find a reason for Obi to back down and also, just simply move hosts. Positive Internet have offered to host this site for free - the hosts with a real backbone. (Just a few technical headaches to overcome first.)

But on to more fun things.

Part of Suessenbach's letter was to tell Netcetera in no uncertain terms that Obi was the owner of the Royal College of Alternative Medicine's (RCAM) Trademarks and she helpfully provided me with a copy letter of Good Standing from the Company Registration Office in Ireland and copies of Trade Mark registrations. This was quite ridiculous. Writing about a company in no way violates a person's rights under Trade Mark legislation. Nor does a letter of good standing provide evidence of the integrity of the directors. It just shows that the company is registered and is providing statutory returns.

The Registrar letter classed RCAM as 'normal'. So, the obvious thing was to get hold of those returns and a list of directors and their holdings, and see if that was true.

The Company Registration Office (CRO) in Dublin has a handy web interface (http://www.cro.ie/) for accessing such reports. A few euros lighter and I have the latest company returns from RCAM. The first is a Directors Annual Report which truly is a work of art in nice computer generated cursive script. Obi tells us that,

we are joyfully humbled to publicly announce an inspiring interim profit of thereabouts 415 Euros (before tax) which we ethically hope to double by this time next year.

The next quarter was somewhat better with a profit of 1628 Euros. No profit and loss or cashflow statements were provided as Obi sought an exemption due to RCAM's small size. So, it is a modest business to say the least.

Far more interesting was the latest register of Directors and their holdings. Joseph Obi owns all equity in the business, but Irish company law requires a company has at least two directors and a company secretary. So, first Professor Joseph Obi is listed as Wellness Consultant and Professor and gives his residential address as Wellness Cottage, Butlersbridge. That sets off alarm bells. What a coincidence of 'wellness'!

Fortunately, Ireland has another fantastic online resource: the Post Office Address Checker. In using this service, I have failed to find a 'Wellness Cottage' in Butlersbridge. Now I do hope I am mistaken as supplying a false director's address would be an offence and could lead to Mr Obi being disqualified as a director and fined.

The second director of RCAM is given as a Dr Andrew Ifeanyi Obi. His occupation is listed as 'International Medical Advisor', and his address is given as Suite 275, Thomas House, 47 Botanic Avenue, Belfast. Andrew Obi's signature is much more scripted than Joseph's.

This is a picture of 47 Botanic Avenue, Belfast. It must have tardis like proportions to contain at least 275 suites. Most of them will fail to have windows, which must be a shame. Actually, this building has a number of purposes. It is home to Green Inc Film and Television, the TV production company set up by cheeky chappy Patrick Kielty. (Follow link with sound on for full humorous effect).

More importantly, it is also home to Belfast company Mail Boxes Etc. (You can just make them out in the photo.) This company provides business services included rented mailboxes. It would make more sense if Suite 275, was Box 275. Now, once again I do hope I am wrong because providing a mailbox for a residential address would also not please the company registrars in Dublin.

What is also a little irregular is that CRO insist that at least one director of an Irish company is resident in the Republic. Dr Andrew, even if he is in Belfast, does not appear to be, and Professor Joseph appears to be based either Gateshead and/or London. He has hired a London-based 'legal advisor' and many press stories about him do not mention his Irish residence. Being a non-resident director requires a hefty bond to be paid.

One last discrepancy that I do not understand is that I can find no reference to Dr Andrew Ifeanyi Obi on any of Professor Obi's web sites, including RCAM. Indeed Goolging various combinations of either 'Andrew Obi' or 'Ifeanyi Obi' reveals only dire warnings of aliases being used for Nigerian Advance Fee Fraud (419 scams). Now, of course this does not mean that Dr Andrew is involved in such things, but rather we have no idea who he is, what he does with RCAM, why his director report does not appear to list a real residential address, or even if he exists at all.

But we know from the Irish Independent that Banned doctor claims to head college that does not exist. The companies registered address is just another "standard call answering and mail collection service to give the impression that it does [exist]." RCAM is just a web site run by Obi, but registered as a trading company in Ireland. For what reason? To make it sound impressive in intimidating legal letters?

What does all this mean? I am not sure, although the concerned citizen within me compels me to alert my suspicions to the relevent authorities in Dublin. Joseph is being a busy man right now blogging away. Yesterday, he told the world that,

Supermodel Kate Moss has today firmly and comprehensively dissociated themselves from the Quackometer Blog.

What a shame. We were getting on so well. I bet she has gone back to that waster, Dougherty.

Now, what I suggest to Mr Obi, and I have written to his 'legal advisor' to this effect, is that he stops fantasising about Kate (that's my job) and writes to Netcetera and withdraws his threats, writes to Google and withdraws his demands to remove my site from their listings.

It's not too late to back off from this silly nonsense.

Labels: Professor Joseph Obi

 

Another page or two goes missing.

You can read more about this here:

I'm not sure that's ethical

and here:
Legal threats and extortion to suppress the truth

Orac is on the case. Bless him.

The BadScience Forum has more details and discussion as does the Randi Forum

A few more people looking at the issues raised by this:

Science and Progress
Rich Speaks…
No Nonsense!
Ambri-guous
Thinking is Dangerous
Rich Scopie
Brain Duck
Soberish
Skeptico
A day at the pharmacy
Fooeey
jdc325
FlammableFlower
Sunclipse
NeuroLogica I am not worthy
Paholaisen Asianajaja
Shpalman

One or two very big US bloggers picking up on this now...

***********************************************************************************
Here is the 'lawyers' letter that my web hosts received...

Dear Sirs,

Re Defamation

We advise Professor Dr Obi and the Royal College of Alternative Medicine. We are informed that you host the Quackometer`s website (copy evidence enclosed). Our clients hereby give you formal notice that they are determined to sue you directly for the highly defamatory contents contained on the website should you fail to immediately shut down the website and delete all of the defamatory material relating to the Royal College of Alternative Medicine, Professor Dr Obi and our clients` lawfully registered Trademarks.

In case the defamation continues beyond 12 noon on Monday the 21st of January 2008, we are instructed to hold you fully liable to the tune of £1 Million (One Million Pounds) per day [hooks little finger to mouth], together with additional punitive damages relating to the many months during which the defamatory material had and has been globally accessible via your server.

Kindly note that Google has already blocked the highly defamatory material from appearing on its search engines in the Republic of Ireland, and is currently in the process of extending the ban to other countries.

Please find enclosed photocopies of the two RCAM Trademarks and a copy letter of Good Standing from the Company Registration Office in Ireland, as well as copies of these highly defamatory articles. Please provide an undertaking that no further reference concerning Professor Dr Obi and/or the Royal College of Alternative Medicine is going to appear anywhere within the Quackometer`s website.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Tanja Suessenbach LLB, LLM

I have now written to Ms Suessenbach asking her to detail her clients concerns as a blanket attempt to close down this site and not give reasons is unacceptable. Ms Suessenbach has yet to respond.

9pm 23rd Jan

I have just received confirmation that a researcher within the University of San Francisco Law School is now annotating the above letter as part of the chillingeffects.org project. That should be interesting.

10pm 23rd

A few more

Holford Watch
UK-Skeptics
Mugs and Money twice
Chemo Brain

jaycueaitch adds some commentary on the affair.

24th January

Apathy Sketchpad dissects the issues.
Overscope

And now Joseph Hewitt's marvelous Ataraxia Theatre is in on it too with
The Insolence of Pigeons

Science Punk catches up.


************************************************************************************
I think I can safely say that this matter is now closed. I did a bit more digging on Prof Obi, and I must say I am quite pleased with myself...

Joseph and Andrew Obi: International Men of Mystery

Posts are restored. Obi now has a Google profile like a pig farmer's timberlands.

************************************************************************************


*

Labels: Professor Joseph Obi

 

No, this is not about our Defender of Quackery, our Quack-in-Chief His Royal Quackiness, Prince Charles, but about the Distinguished Provost of the Royal College of Alternative Medicine, Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi. And yes, it is just a rather lame story written solely to get a picture of Kate on my blog.

I've written a rather lazy blog on the distinguished professor before that was just a bit of a gawp at his quacktastic website and what looks like a health phone-line scam.

Well, I've done a little more digging with Google and it has revealed a few quack gems. It has been pretty hard work, since Google returns some 6,000 pages, the vast majority just appears to be Prof Obi's self-promotion. However, if you persist in digging a few interesting facts turn up.

So, what has the little black duck found out about the "most Controversial Retired Physician and 'A-List' Medical Celebrity, Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi"?

Here we go...

1. The Irish Independent reports that his college does not exist at the Dublin address given on the web site. There's a surprise! It's just a front.

2. The Independent goes on. "In January 2003, he was suspended by for serious professional misconduct at South Tyneside District Hospital. Among the allegations made were that he failed to attend to patients, wrote strange notes about colleagues and at one point gave a dating agency phone number to a psychiatric patient."

3. He was being investigated by the police for taking thousands of pounds of a 58 year old woman to in order to cure a long standing illness.

4. The GMC strike Dr Obi off their register for "serious professional misconduct". So much for him being retired.

5. On another tack, Dr Obi has been involved in a little cyber-squatting. This looks as if it took place while he was a doctor - always after a few quid!

6. Since then, now self-titled Prof Obi, a few new avenues have been opened, including trying to entice Kate Moss away to one of his 'safe-houses' in Ireland. Hat's off!

He is quoted as saying:

"Under the European Convention on Human Rights, Miss Moss still has fundamental rights, just like anyone else out there, and as far as I am concerned, she is not guilty of anything until an Ethical Jury says so."

(I mentioned before that 'ethical' was one of his favourite words.)

7. Prof Obi has been developing a Penis Enlarger (watch out Kate) that his own Royal College has now endorsed.

8. At least one person (out of the targeted million) has paid Prof Obi the fees for his college to accredit them. Dr Michael Keet (8 Canards) of the Central London College of Reflexology handed over 'hundreds'. Do we feel sorry for out-quacked quacks? I guess we ought to.

9. For those of you wanting to see behind the grand titles and see the real human being, Joseph lists his interests as Comedy in London, Whole Food Nutrition and Christian Music. On this 'Meetup' site, he describes himself as "Just a very ordinary guy . . .". That's nice.

10. His name appears very often on the blog Abolish The General Medical Council (GMC), often reporting something he has got up to. The blog describes itself as:

An ethical blog for those who publicly feel that the General Medical Council (GMC) should be Statutorily Abolished in favour of a Medical Licensing Commission (MLC) to solely register and revalidate Doctors who practise Conventional Medicine in the UK. The Blog also recommends that the GMC/MLC hands all disciplinary functions over to an Independent Clinical Tribunal (ICT) in keeping with the EU Convention on Human Rights ; to avoid (both) Institutional Bias and Multiple Jeopardy.

Oooh. There is that word 'ethical' again. And 'European Human Rights'. No name is given for the blog author but the avatar is a portrait of the queen. Another apparent obsession of Prof Obi - royalty. Could the author be none other than the Professor himself, a little agrieved for his ticking off? I hope you all click through to the blog. Maybe we will show up in his stats and whoever the writer is can get in contact and confirm one way or another.

I rather hope is is, as the final thing I turned up would just be fantastic...

11. Is the Distinguished Provost of the Royal College of Alternative Medicine, Professor Obi now selling ethical ring-tones? I do hope so.

Watch out Crazy Frog! Here comes the Crazy Provost...

---

Postscript

It does look like Prof Obi has read this blog. He claims on the blog 'Abolish The General Medical Council' the following...

And now we have the GMC sending the 'half-wit' Quackometer Bloggers after me, who (by the way) don't even know the very meaning of the word 'Quack'.

Excellent. So I am a GMC Shill now to add to my credentials. Black ducks are not that clever, but half-witted is a bit harsh. And I don't know the meaning of the word quack. As usual for a quack, not a shred of evidence to support his claims that I have anything to do with the GMC.

I have a feeling this story will re-appear. But first, I must download that ringtone...

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Labels: Professor Joseph Obi

 

I had to share this with you. Following on from my recent Quack Word 'Doctor' blog, I came across the Royal College of Alternative Medicine (RCAM) , a Dublin based - well, I'm not sure quite what it is...

What caught my eye was just the shameless aggrandisement of the site. It is quite hilarious, if not a little repetitive at times. Calling yourself 'Doctor' is somewhat pompous when all you have done is paid for some international postage. However, the man behind RCAM has absolutely no shame and titles himself as the:

Distinguished Provost of RCAM (Royal College of Alternative Medicine) Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi FRCAM(Dublin) FRIPH(UK) FACAM(USA) MICR(UK)

Wow! Probably, just Joe to his mates. Naturally, when you Google the qualification FRCAM(Dublin), there is only person who appears to revel in this achievement. I'll leave the rest as an excercise for the reader.

The distinguished provost looks like he is just another pseudoscientific nutritionist, his spin being "Nutritional Immunomodulation". This is obviously a lot more clever than Patrick Holfords mere 'Optimum Nutrition', but having only one 'omnipill' is probably a poorer commercial decision that Patrick's vast range of supplements.

Obviously, Professor Obi has had a few problems with what probably amount to bewildering comments about his site as the legal threats and press releases concerning his 'ethical' responses to criticisms cover more space than anything else. 'Ethical' is a favourite word on the site.

The most recent press release states,

7th September 2006 : The Distinguished RCAM Provost , Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi FRCAM(Dublin) FRIPH(UK) FACAM(USA) MICR(UK) has formally accepted appointment as Chief Professorial Examiner for the Doctor of Science (DSc) programme in Evidence Based , Alternative Medicine (EBAM) of a highly respected International University in one of the British Commonwealth Protectorates.

This new qualification is primarily aimed at Medical Graduates , Physicians, Surgeons, Pharmacists, Dentists , Osteopaths , Chiropractors , Opticians , Wellness Consultants , Herbalists , Acupuncturists , Naturopaths , Healers, Podiatrists , Chiropodists , Scientists , Healers ,Therapists, Homeopaths , Chinese Medicine Practitioners and Nurses wishing to ethically upgrade their current Qualifications in Alternative Medicine over an exceedingly intensive 12 - 36 month period of study.

British Commonwealth Protectorates? Could that be Dublin?

I really have no idea what this organisation is all about. But it looks like it could be getting quite big soon...

RCAM currently has International Vacancies for One Million (1,000,000) 'Foundation Fellows' ('Movers and Shakers') ; who will independently play a highly pivotal role in diligently mentoring (and regulating) it's future Global Membership.

So if you really think that you seriously have what it takes to become a 'Leader' in Alternative Medicine , then (perhaps) RCAM may definitely be exactly what the Doctor ordered for you.

One million. That's a lot of quacks! And they are just to mentor (and regulate) the wider quack membership! This man has ambition.

The Big J really hates real doctors. This is his most recent press release...

RCAM would like to warmly commend the various Chieftans of the National Health Service of the United Kingdom for ethically and appropriately ignoring utterly misguided calls (from a rather amusing Group of thirteen Clinical Yestermen) to compel Hard-Working (and Tax-Paying) British Citizens to additionally pay for Life Enhancing Alternative Medicine Interventions out of their very own pockets - rather than get such treatments free via the NHS. RCAM would like to also categorically state that such exceedingly flawed 'G-13' demands that the National Health Service of the United Kingdom expediently abandon Alternative Medicine altogether (in total favour of Conventional Medicine) be diplomatically treated with the very utmost contempt which such unguarded verbal flippance duly deserves ; as none of these 13 'Eminent UK Scientists' behind such calls has professionally attained Globally Acceptable Fellowship Qualifications in Alternative Medicine and as such cannot be deemed competent enough to make such sweeping 'Shilly-Shally' statements about the noble independent specialty of Alternative Medicine.

RCAM therefore publicly advises the General Public to lawfully go about their normal Wellness-Seeking Behaviour as usual - without any unwarranted prejudice or fear resulting from such highly self-serving, morally unethical , abjectly crude , totally unprofessional, utterly unstatesmanly, morbidly barbaric, wantonly uncivilized, profanely undemocratic and unspeakably sacrilegious perpetual affronts on the therapeutically formidable institution of Alternative Medicine.

Now, I do not have 'Globally Acceptable Fellowship Qualifications' in Santa Clause Studies to know he does not exist. But hey. I must be a morbidly barbaric and profanely undemocratic, unethical duck.

So, struggling around the acres of pomposity I find one place where Prof Joe might be making some money. You can call him to seek his wisdom, after pre-booking an hour's slot (and handing over your credit card) for a mere 300 Euros. Alternatively, you can pay by the minute on the contact line for a trifling $10 per minute.

Its going to cost you $20 just for Joe to say Hello and to read out his numerous titles, qualifications and names. Not bad 'ethical' work.

Labels: Professor Joseph Obi, qualifications, titles