Steiner Schools Criticise Mainstream Schools’ stance on ‘Father Christmas’

Old_Father_Christmas_Image

A spokesperson for the Steiner Waldorf Schools Fellowship in the UK has today warned that mainstream schools could be covertly teaching occult and mystical philosophies to school children.

Trevor Teflon, a Steiner School headmaster said,

“We are worried that the seasonal and mythical character of ‘Father Christmas’, whilst appearing harmless and fun, is being used to indoctrinate children with spiritual concepts.”

At the heart of the Steiner teachers’ concerns is that children, some as young as 4, are being taught corrupted views of the concept of ‘karma’. That is, that their rewards at this Christmas will depend on previous deeds – whether they have been ‘naughty or nice’ – over the previous year.

“At Steiner Schools”, says Teflon, “we are clear to children, that their manifest existence in this life is dependent on the beneficial or harmful effects you have had in previous lives. How can children expect better incarnations in future lives if their karmic goals are so short-term?”

“Even more worrying, is that children are encouraged to petition this ‘Saint’ with explicit demands for what their karmic rewards should be. At Steiner Schools, we tread carefully when  interfering in karmic destiny. If a child merely gets a lump of coal and a bullying slap from a brother, then at some deep level, their soul must have desired this.”

But more sinister concerns are being expressed by Steiner Schools. Sune Kommenting, a paid-for spokesperson for the movement, added that, “It is offensive to depict this ‘Santa Claus’ figure as a highly spiritually developed and benevolent entity that can only have come from the far north Nordic regions. As anthroposophists and followers of Rudolf Steiner, we believe all Aryans are capable of such spiritual advancement. ”  They also find the idea that Father Christmas is helped by elves to be fanciful. “Elemental spirits, such as elves and gnomes, pay little attention to the goings-on of men. Indeed, the  gnomes we talk endlessly about in Steiner Schools are more likely to mischievously smash up toys rather than get their woodworking tools out and help.”

“And as for a reindeer called Rudolf, we find this highly offensive and mocking of our spiritual founder, Rudolf Steiner. He did not have a red nose, or horns for that matter. But, yes, he could fly through the sky and up to the higher cosmic planes.”

Michael Gove, education minister stated, “If the concerns of these Steiner Schools are true, then we would never have approved the opening of such schools. We accept that mainstream schools do not explicitly teach Santaosophy, but are merely inspired by the spirit of Christmas.”

But a Steiner spokesman added, “Parents need to be aware, that behind the alluring facade of hand-made Christmas decorations and quaint nativity plays, children are being secretly indoctrinated according to a fanciful and offensive spiritual agenda. Mainstream schools should observe Steiner-Waldorf education and learn to better hide this fact.”

“Is that what I meant to say?”

“What I meant to say was Steiner schools concentrate on educating the whole child, academically, physically, emotionally and spiritually, even if this is as the expense of them learning to read and write. If we do this correctly, such children will not only get nice presents, but may also be reincarnated in their next lives as Germans.”

18 comments for “Steiner Schools Criticise Mainstream Schools’ stance on ‘Father Christmas’

  1. Dr Richard Rawlins
    December 17, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    I do not believe it! Outrageous! Something must be done!
    We want none of this in the National Elf service.

    Merry Eczemas!

    Best wishes for a tolerable New Year.

    • Badly Shaved Monkey
      December 17, 2012 at 5:39 pm

      It’s Elfin Safety gone mad!

  2. Badly Shaved Monkey
    December 17, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    Norman St John Barmpot, Conservative MP, for Grolies-cum-Chakras in South Devon is quoted as saying, “What can you expect when state schools for educating the proles were built with a flagrant disregard for ley-lines? Many of the mummies at these schools are quite clearly not yummy so can expect no better from the spawn of their loins. Now get orff my land you horrible little man.”

    Readers may recall that Mr Barmpot narrowly missed parliamentary censure when it emerged that he had claimed £140,000 for having the duck house on his moat realigned in accordance with feng shui principles.

    • Badly Shaved Monkey
      December 18, 2012 at 2:02 pm

      [For anyone not familiar with the term, GROLIES is an acronym.
      I now realise cum chakras is a double entendre, well on its way to being a single entrendre in the context of GROLIES and yummy mummies. I apologise.]

  3. Melanie Byng
    December 17, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    Will no one think of the robins?

  4. December 17, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    Let’s hope this doesn’t stick to Mr. Teflon

  5. December 18, 2012 at 10:25 am

    Someone has clearly been doing their gnomework…

  6. Alan Henness (aka Zeno)
    December 18, 2012 at 11:27 am

    Someone’s got to do this…

    David Bowie – YouTube

  7. Alan Henness (aka Zeno)
    December 18, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    Oops! Messed up the youtube link. It should have been this of course: David Bowie: The Laughing Gnome

  8. Nash
    December 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    Why is no one talking about the Tooth Fairy?

  9. JimR.
    December 18, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    Well I hope the Easter Bunny is not maligned? So much sugar not wrapped up as a magic potion.

  10. December 19, 2012 at 12:22 am

    Where’s your festive spirit, you miserable skeptical lot! The poor headmaster was most likely trying to write one of those tongue in cheek articles like the BMJ sometimes does at Xmas. Good for him, I say, as most of those alternative types don’t have a sense of humour!

  11. December 19, 2012 at 1:40 am

    “And as for a reindeer called Rudolf, we find this highly offensive and mocking of our spiritual founder, Rudolf Steiner.”

    I find it highly offensive that Anthroposophists would attempt to connect Rudolf Steiner with RUDOLPH the red-nosed reindeer… Although, they also attempt to connect Steiner to Piaget, so Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer doesn’t seem like that much of a stretch.

    • Emma Matthews (@Wossnim)
      January 1, 2013 at 2:06 pm

      I went to a Rudolf Steiner School in the late 80’s. My drama teacher was showing us a film about King Arthur and The Knights of The Round Table and, feeling a bit bored and restless, I started losing concentration on it… I glimpsed a photograph of Rudolf Steiner on the wall (it was in one of those weirdly shaped, carved wooden frames) and remarked “Where’s his antlers?!” and my drama teacher went ballistic! When he was angry with us he’d boom at us like a foghorn and they could hear him on the other side of East Grinstead, it was quite an endearing trait of his actually. Anyway, he boomed “THIS… IS A RUDOLF STEINER SCHOOL… AND I WILL NOT HAVE YOU MAKING A MOCKERY OF IT!!!”. Lol

      • Fanna
        June 7, 2013 at 4:51 pm

        Dear Emma, I had been considering a Steiner school for my daughter, but I’m now in two minds about it. Would love to get your opinion as you have first hand experience of the system and what the school is all about.
        Would appreciate it if you’d reply through my mailbox. Thank you so much.
        My e-mail address is kdagazau@gmail.com
        Thank you again.

  12. John From Elm Park
    December 20, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    You septics should not mess with KARMA. It is REAL!!!! I know and I can prove it!!!

    My Uncle Richard moved to Oz just after the war and one day he hit a kangaroo with his truck and killed it. thirty two years later he died in a car accident. TRUE STORY!!!!!!!!

    That was KARMA. COSMIC DESTINY WILL ALWAYS COME OUT.

    And kids should not believe in Father Christmas. Father Peedo more like. Where does he hide the rest of the year and only come out when it is dark to bribe kids. When my sprogs was small I bricked up the chimlee to keep him out of the house. Saint KNicker-Less more like.

    He looks a right wrong-un in that picture. I wouldn’t trust him with my sprogs.

    And sorry for sounding a bit dim but why is this school named after a raindear.

  13. December 26, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    Hello, all is going sound here and ofcourse every one is sharing
    facts, that’s truly good, keep up writing.

  14. Emma Matthews (@Wossnim)
    January 1, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    “A spokesperson for the Steiner Waldorf Schools Fellowship in the UK has today warned that mainstream schools could be covertly teaching occult and mystical philosophies to school children”… OH, THE IRONY!!!

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